Mr. Wu is quite troubled... He's only been living in France for a few days and has already had his driver's license suspended despite having all his papers in order. The fault lies with a half-dozen traffic violations and particularly aggressive driving. When questioned by authorities asking where and how he learned to drive, here's what he explains to them...    

1/ In the city or countryside, without a seatbelt you shall drive :

This first commandment was verified upon our arrival in Beijing last year. Our first taxi in Chine was indeed not equipped with safety belts in the back or front, a peculiarity we also encountered in Guangzhou.

2/ Even over very short distances, acceleration and braking you shall alternate :

Particularly annoying when standing in a packed bus, repeated acceleration and braking every 100 meters tends to throw people to the ground if they weren't holding on tight.

3/ If the light turns green, pedestrians or not you shall advance :

At first we wondered why pedestrians most of the time would run to cross. Then we almost got hit about a dozen times... Inevitably that helps with understanding. In Chine, when it's green, it's green!

4/ At the slightest opportunity that presents itself, the horn deliberately you shall press :

Demons of our nights, horns are practically part of Chine's heritage given how much they're used throughout the day, often for no apparent reason.

5/ While passing by the cops, your phone you shall use :

True smartphone addicts recently settling in Chine, or simply happy owners of a Motorola from another era, Chine drivers don't hesitate to phone while driving or use their integrated GPS, even if police are nearby.

6/ In all circumstances, poor gear usage you shall make :

Whether restarting in 2nd gear or pushing up to 50 km/h in 1st, it seems the first mission of a Chine driver is to kill their engine within a few days of intensive use.

7/ Fearlessly and without reproach, on a scooter with multiple passengers you shall ride :

This was verified both in Guangzhou and in Yangshuo, Chine residents optimize space by riding 3 or 4 on a scooter. And without a helmet, obviously!

8/ If the situation requires it, on the left as on the right you shall overtake :

You know Paris's ring road? That's the land of sweetness and light. Here people overtake from all sides and cut back in without warning. So now we finally understand the usefulness of the horn...

9/ Speed limits, at no moment you shall respect :

It would seem that Chine drivers couldn't care less about speed limits in the city, often driving well over 50 mph when traffic allows.

10/ In case of a routing error, U-turns in the middle of the road you shall make :

Even though there are specially designed lanes for making U-turns, it turns out Chine drivers like to turn around wherever they please, without paying attention to oncoming traffic.

BONUS : Despite the urgency of the situation, no ambulance shall pass : This one is a gift and refers to a surreal situation we witnessed last year. An ambulance struggles to take the exit from a hospital onto a very busy street, despite the siren and flashing lights no car seems willing to let it out, so it takes a good 3 minutes to merge into traffic. Altruistic, Chine drivers? Apparently not...  

NB: This article was of course intended to be humorous and should not be taken (entirely) literally. Mr. Wu being a purely fictional character, any resemblance to actual persons or situations, existing or having existed, can only be coincidental. Our apologies in advance to Chine drivers who might feel offended by our remarks.